Out of My Dreams

Yesterday I awoke and started to get ready to go to work. I checked the chart to see which suit I should wear, and which corporate tie to match. I was preparing for my Grandfather’s funeral. I had never worked a funeral service for a family member before. I was nervous. I was sullen. I started my coffee maker morosely with a trembling finger. I went downstairs to the basement where I found an old jewelry box inside a large cedar chest. Inside the box I found a set of cufflinks that would go perfectly with that day’s tie. They were my grandfather’s cufflinks. Upstairs, I set them aside on my valet. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that my eyes were sunken above dark circles and my skin had taken an almost translucent pallor. I needed to shave. As I lathered shaving soap on my brush, as I had seen him do so many times, I started to cry. I stepped into the shower only to have my tears veiled by rolling steam as the scent of my Irish Spring conjured up memories of my childhood and how my grandfather would smell after a shower.

This was going to be the toughest day of my new career as a funeral director. It didn’t seem fair. I fastened his cufflinks on my shirt, straightened by tie, and headed out the door. It wasn’t until I was half way to work when it hit me. My grandfather had passed away five years ago. This was the first time that I let a dream influence me that far into my day. I’m still a bit taken by the whole thing…

I love dreams. Dreams are an indescribable expression of something deep, and personal. Often times, dreams take on private and intimate scheme. Dreams can be fantasies or horrors. Some mornings I wake up convinced that I am about to embark on the day that had been set-up in my dream. This usually lasts about as long as it takes me to walk across the room to my buzzing alarm clock.

But yesterday was different. Anyone up for some dream analysis?

Wordless Wednesday: "To the Ship!"

Theirs




Ours

Oh! The Conceitedness of Me!

Peter Pan. We all know the story:

In stifling Edwardian London, Wendy Darling mesmerizes her brothers every night with bedtime tales of swordplay, swashbuckling and the fearsome Captain Hook. But the children become the heroes of an even greater story, when Peter Pan flies into their nursery one night and leads them over moonlit rooftops through a galaxy of stars and to the lush jungles of Neverland. Wendy and her brothers join Peter and the Lost Boys in an exhilarating life--free of grown-up rules--while also facing the inevitable showdown with Hook and his bloodthirsty pirates.

Sounds fantastic, right? I find the whole thing to be quite tragic. Mr. & Mrs. Darling are alerted to commotion in the nursery by Nana (the dog) just as the children fly out of the window. It would be delightful to report that they reached the nursery in time... but then, there would be no story.

Peter, the poster child for narcissism and immaturity, leads a life fitting to his wishes. But there are some things about the boy that I do not understand. Why mustn’t he be touched? Why is he seemingly incapable of love? It is obvious that he is seeking love, albeit passively. Wendy, I believe, does fall in love with Peter. In the process she realizes that she must return home…to grow-up.

Wendy, John, Michael, and all the Lost Boys return to the Darling residence. The Lost Boys couldn’t be more excited to be adopted by the Darlings. Peter watches the joyful interactions from outside the window. Wendy rushes to the window where Peter assures her that he will never forget her and they shall see each other again.

But she was never to see Peter Pan again. Now, Wendy tells his story to her children and they will tell it to their children, and so it will go on - for all children grow up... Except one. This is one story that brings tears to my eyes every time. No, there is no happy ending in Never Land.

However, the Olney Central College production of Peter Pan is fantastic. It is running through next weekend and I highly recommend that you attend. For tickets and information call 618-395-7777.

They Fly!!!

Little Ashes

Ok. This is no secret. I LOVE movies. I can't keep up with all the good stuff from the silver screen. I have several movies that have yet to be watched...

I find myself getting involved with watching the professional progress of actors. From cheesy breakthrough roles, to the more substantial dramatic roles...this development always impresses me. The best example of such tremendous progress can be found in the late Heath Ledger. He certainly went out on his way to the top.

Just today I discovered a new movie featuring an up and coming start. While Robert Pattinson is considered by some to be a teenage heart throb...in May of this year he will be breaking that mold. Little Ashes will hopefully be the work that will thrust him into a serious film career. Don't get me wrong, his work in the Twilight series has (so far) been impressive. But much like his HP collegue Daniel Radcliffe who has also chose a more adult-like career, Pattinson is taking a sharp turn away from becoming niched player in a cut-throat industry. Best of luck....

Wordless Wednesday: Caught

Oops. :)

Super Early!

I have always been a supporter of Daylight Savings Time. People always ask me what the point of it really is. Well…honestly, I’m not actually sure. But I’m sure that it was the best idea at the time…historically. I generally tell people to not complain, and just accept the system.

So I was all ready to make the change this weekend. I knew that my phone and computers would make the change for me, but the rest of the timepieces were up to me. I went around the house making sure to hit all the clocks, appliances, and random watches that I have. Mission accomplished! I sat down to watch a little television as I organized some stuff when I heard a lady on Fox News say, “Don’t forget to set your clocks up TOMORROW night.”

Damn. You know me…always prompt.

In Excellence…Increase

This is in response to an anonymous comment posted to Unwavering…

"Something Greater"

There are times that the “what if” questions will consume my mind to the point of total emotional exhaustion. I hate that. I believe that I am good at my job. In fact, I’m about to add another state to my professional licensure. I feel very blessed to have a stable and productive job. But I can’t help but think that there is something greater out there waiting for me.

Passion.

I want to do something that leaves me at the end of the day feeling accomplished, appreciated, and spent. I want to feel as if I’ve been ridden hard and put away wet, only to wake up the next day excited do it all over again. I want to put everything I have, body mind & soul, into an occupation that continually drives my forward.

So, I am on my way to discover my something greater. I am making decisions that will allow me to answer some of my “what if questions….”

Wordless Wednesday: Flashback

Unwavering....

I have received a mild amount of criticism concerning my perpetual college career. I don’t mind, actually I don’t pay much attention to it at all. But I do feel the need to set some things straight…

I am not running away from anything.
I am not expressing a general lack of commitment.

In fact, it is quite the opposite. I am committed to something greater. I have never been one to settle for the common, and I do not intend to start doing so anytime soon.


So, I remain attentive to my ambition.

The Soul's Own Speech

From the Vault. Originally posted in May of 2008. The following is a reflection on the 50th Anniversary of the Emory & Henry College Concert Choir.

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A mountain top experience, in both the literal and figurative senses, is perhaps the best way to describe last weekend. I had the opportunity to return to the campus of Emory & Henry College to participate in the 50^th Anniversary Reunion of the college’s Concert Choir. As many small college musicians would likely express, our choir was different, exclusive, and uncommon. Since the Concert Choir’s founding 50 years ago there have been only three conductors. Yes, I said three. While only under one did I serve I can honestly say that my life, or at least my musical outlook therein, has been transformed by all three outstanding leaders. I have developed an understanding of how I believe a group of diverse voices can and should transcend the ordinary.

In my short three years I had the pleasure of working with our founder during a handful of special occasions. His principles of the choral sound are idealistic, and often not achievable. I respect his convictions and his faith in the system, but I am not naïve enough to consider what has been titled the Westminster Sound to be the only acceptable sound. When it all does come together, believe me friend, it is truly a sacred experience. His successor, my mentor and conductor, had a less idealistic design of choral sound but all the more romantic! We achieved moments of supreme musicality that would bring to tears even the toughest of accounting and public policy majors. Some of these moments were in rehearsals, while others were on the road during our countless concert tours here and abroad. We were not perfect…there were other moments of a lesser amount of musicality. Perhaps this is best termed as the ‘scuro’ to our ‘chiaro.’ I learned a great deal from our conductor…most significantly being how to not conduct a group of musicians. Saying that, I respected him and I will forever remember what he taught me in what I consider my vocal coming of age lessons!

Change was in the air, and change did transpire in the spring of my final year. Our conductor was released of his teaching responsibilities for a myriad of reasons – all well founded by the acting administration. I was pleased to have a hand in the selection of the current Concert Choir leadership. We saw numerous applicants for the position. Some were too short, too tall, too traditional, not traditional enough, wore too much black, lacked piano skills, but finally a fit was found. The Concert Choir received its third conductor, and might I add – a Yankee! As was expected, change was not well accepted by a few Concert Choir members both past and present. It was viewed as a fallen Dynasty, an empire destroyed, and a then 47-year tradition lost forever. I am and always have been a supporter of the current Concert Choir leadership. I even had the opportunity to host the choir at my church during their Mid-West tour; something that our alumni look forward to doing.

I attest that the Concert Choir sound is alive and well! The change has been for the better. At the reunion the current Concert Choir performed their Germany/Austria spring tour program. I was moved. However, during a reception afterward, the rift between the old and the new grew to an uncomfortable width. Nothing disparaging was said about the current choir, but all the while nothing altogether too positive was said either. “Good intonation, clear sound,” was all that was said to me. Is that all you heard? Are you so blinded by the ‘glorious’ days that you are not able to embrace something so Rich and Vibrant as what was before you? Sure, the process is different. I say the process is better. You call it ‘academic,’ and I call it progressive and more importantly successful – more successful than not. I beg you to open your heart of fire! The 2008 concert choir is our Emory & Henry Concert Choir. The tradition, my friends, lives on!