Great Plain Circle Farmer meets Apache Pyrmid Builder

0930PM, Thursday, January 28, 2010

I decided to check-in and prepay my checked baggage the night before my flight. I was planning on leaving Olney around 2:00AM to catch my early morning flight to Phoenix. As I pulled up my itinerary I noticed that I had two flights booked. One was my original flight through Memphis and the other through Minneapolis both ending in Phoenix. Sure…I was confused. I made a phone call to see which flight was actually mine. I was informed that my flight was canceled and the second one, through Minneapolis, was my new flight. To confuse matters more I was now flying on a Northwest Airlines flight on a Delta jet operated by Frontier Air Services. I was really looking forward to getting to the heat of Arizona as soon as possible…but now it would be five hours later than I wanted. Oh well. No harm done.

0900AM, Friday, January 29, 2010

I enjoy flying. I enjoy the airport. There is something mysterious about the whole thing. Everyone is busy. Buses and taxis are lined up in front. The smell of jet fuel adds to the anticipation of everything. Airports buildings interest me. They are all the same once you’re in the secure area, but the terminal is always something unique. They are vestiges of a better time in our country; a time when travel was new, exciting, and romantic. Much like the countless Union Stations around the country, airports too are city specific and intended to lure the public into the door and out to the world. The terminal at St. Louis is nothing spectacular, but the large open space with gaping archways throughout is unique to a city which as one pilot mentioned is the only city that comes with its own handle.

Airport security has always been an adventure for me. It started early today with a pretty complete search of my truck before I could park. Because I’m a slight creature of habit I park in the same section of the garage. I was here in August, September, and now January. I’m not kidding you when I tell you that I parked next to the same car each time. It is a red 70’s something Cadillac with four flat tires, expired plates, and a pretty thick covering of dust. Others have noticed this long term parker as well and have started to write dates in the dust. I found my two previous dates that I wrote and I added today. Knowing what I pay to park there for a weekend, I’d hate to get the bill for that car. Once inside I had no idea who to check in with. Delta? Northwest? Frontier? I picked Delta since that is who I remember paying…and I was right.

As usual, the security screening was fun. After I remove my shoes, took off my belt, and put everything on the x-ray thingy I figured I was done. Of course not. I was once again taken aside for the pat down. It always happens. I’m used to it. But it got interesting this time since my belt was not with me and I was not allowed to put my hands at my side. The TSA lady almost got more than she bargained for.

I’m sitting here at my gate listening to people who are delayed, canceled, or otherwise stranded. And just where were these people going? Memphis. I guess it’s a good thing that my bankrupted name-changing altogether confusing airline changed my flight last night. I’ve never been to Minneapolis before…dontcha know…

1030AM, Friday, January 29, 2010

My flight was a little late to Minneapolis leaving me about ten minutes to switch planes. I had no idea where I was going, but I was running to get there. Of course, I had to go just about as far as I could go…and it seemed that the entire Minneapolis airport is up hill. After the quickest bathroom break ever I made it on the plane. Last one on!

It was three hours to Phoenix. For three hours I sat in the middle of a family of morons. It was like the Griswold Family Vacation to the American Southwest. The two kids were homeschooled and taking a two week trip out west to learn hands on stuff. (I have nothing against homeschooling, but it needs to be done right.) The young son was sitting against the window commenting about the fields below. From the air it is easy to see the large circles created by the irrigation systems used in fields. The son pointed out the “crop circles” and the dad said…I kid you not, “Well son. Farmers in the Great Plain states do what is called circular farming. It is easier for them to drive their tractors in big circles than it is to turn around at the end of each row.” AND THE KID BOUGHT IT. What bothers me more is that the father believed it too! I wanted to tell the father that sometimes it just best to say, “Huh. That’s pretty neat. I wonder why there are circles.” Oh well.

As we passed over the rugged mountains of Arizona it was the daughter this time that pointed out the beautiful topography. Once again Father Know It All chimed in with a history lesson. He said, “If you look closely kids, you’ll be able to see the great pyramids and temples that the Native American peoples build to worship their god.” I must have given him a “wtf” look because he asked me if I was from the area. I told him I was from a big circle farm in Nebraska. My tractor only turns left. Then I pointed out the window and said, “Look kids! Parliament…Big Ben!” There are some people that really should breed.

0500PM, Friday, January 29, 2010

I changed into my sandals before walking outside. I love seeing palm trees and cacti in January. J

The State of Common Sense

I try to not blog about politics, but there are some evenings when that is not possible. Tonight I watched the President deliver his first State of the Union Address. This was the first time that I watched the speech with an honest non-partisan view. This was the first time that “my guy” wasn’t the giving the speech. This was the first time that I, an adult American, have actually felt and experienced the worries and woes that were mentioned and are felt across the nation.

I’ll be honest with you. I have no freaking idea what “Cap and Trade” means. I have no idea what the thousand page health care reform bill says. I have mixed feelings about the size (necessary or not) of our Federal Government. I am not comfortable with my recent opinions of Constitutional interpretation. I believe that we as a nation are not properly represented by our elected law makers. I believe it is our duty and given right to take a stand against a government that oppresses its citizenry. Is it time to fasten our bayonets and dust off our tri-cornered hats? No, not yet.

But despite my uncertainties and feelings towards a government that seems to turn a deaf ear, I do believe in our system. Even though I didn't vote for the guy I hold extreme respect for the office. Despite my thoughts concerning an out of control party system, misleading campaign finance laws, and a broken relationship of trust between the people and the law makers…I am comforted knowing that we live in the greatest country in the world with the best system of government ever seen.

So, to President Obama, I would like to thank you for the pep talk. You seem to "feel our pain." Now its time to get to work...all of us.

So? Whats your point?

In the last two days I have had two people tell me something about myself. Something that I already know about myself. It isn’t a secret. I’m a bit of a pushover. I let people take advantage of me. I don’t know how to say no. And I tend to be very open to suggestion. While I appreciate you telling me this…its nothing new. I’ve know about this for a long time. I have had people say things to me like, “Why do you let him do that to you?” Or, “How could you just sit there and listen to that?”

My response: eh. I just don’t care. Despite my appearance as a pushover I have never done anything that I didn’t want to do. I have never done something against my morals of beliefs. While I might not have done it on my own…I carry no regrets for being persuaded to do anything.

However…I suppose it is time that I started to take a stronger stand for myself. So don’t be surprised if I start putting up a fight…

Why Haiti Matters

If there is one thing that I’ve learned in all my traveling, it is that despite our many outward differences of cultures, customs, languages and appearances, all of life shares one common light.

As I’m sure you’ve heard or read, a large Earthquake struck Haiti, the poorest nation in the western hemisphere. According to the country’s prime minister, more than 100,000 people are dead but the numbers are still daunting and unclear in scope.

Let’s be clear: These are our brothers, our sisters, our mothers and our fathers. The struggles faced by the Haitian people are a shared burden that must be carried by all of us. A hardship for one is a hardship for all. This is our family. Some may criticize the massive amount of aid that our nation is giving but not me. We cannot give enough. We cannot help enough. We are responsible.

Today isn’t about the indifference of others, or the lack of resources committed by other countries or wealthy individuals. Today is about the compassion that you hold in your heart, and the generosity that you are able to show. Please join me in giving to UNICEF’s fund to help children affected by the earthquake.

Wordless Wednesday: Backyards

This was taken at the Merritt Island National Wildlife Refuge near Titusville, Florida. All this winter weather makes me want to move back. THIS was my childhood back yard. What did yours look like?

In Retrospect....

The title of my last post should be "I Like Big Knots and I Cannot Lie..."

Oh Why Knot?

Back in October I posted my Small town Style Guide. To go along with that original post I would like to elaborate on perhaps the most essential aspect of men’s fashion…the neck tie.

I know what you’re thinking. And yes, there is more than one way to tie a knot around your neck. The first step is the most important. Walk to your closet right now. If you have any clip-on ties please throw them away right now. I’ll wait….. Unless you lost an arm in a rollerblading accident there is absolutely no reason that any grown man should wear a clip on tie. Don’t even walk past them in the store…(This includes bow ties. Unless you’re going to prom and have other things on your mind than your wardrobe there is no excuse to own a clip on bow tie.)

The biggest variance I see among tie wearers comes in the understanding of proper tie length. No matter the length (or girth) of your torso, the bottom of your neck tie should touch the top of your belt. With that being said it should be obvious that you should always wear a belt while wearing a tie. If you try several different knot styles and still can’t make it all the way to your belt you might need to wear extra long ties. This, like being a left-handed golfer, will prove to be a huge inconvenience in your life. Best of luck…

When selecting the color of your tie always remember that the tie should be darker in color and pattern than your shirt. The monochromatic look went out with Regis a few years ago…please don’t try to bring that back. If your shirt has a pattern, say a tattersall, then the tie should not over power the shirt. Don’t know what tattersall is…we have bigger problems.

When purchasing a neck tie always buy quality. There are certain retail stores that just don’t sell quality ties. A cheap tie will stand out like a cheap suit. Without quality material inside the tie, even the finest silk pattern will look bad. The standard width is, has been, and always will be 3.5 inches. Avoid buying anything wider (please), and while narrow ties might be okay for a younger generation of upward mobile yuppies they will not present the maturity and experience required in the professional world.

The most important part of the neck tie is the knot. The knot of the tie should be proportional to the collar of the shirt. Yes, Gentlemen, there is more than one style of shirt collar. There are in fact twelve common collar styles. That is another post for another time…

I will spare you the graphics of knot styles, but I encourage you to study them yourself and practice. But here is an example of the most common knot style – the four-in-hand knot. There is nothing more attractive and striking than a well dressed man. Do your best to look your best. Neck ties can be a struggle, but it is a struggle that you can overcome. Each tie will take a knot differently. But if you take the time and pride in selecting your tie and its knot you will learn to be a better man because of it.

The 25

I have really missed blogging. In the last month or so my schedule has been odd and unpredictable. But I'm going to start to reorganize things and get back to normal. So...I'll start off with a pretty easy blog concept. The following are 25 random things about me that you may not have known...

1. I had the opportunity to meet Elizabeth Taylor's 5th husband, Sen John Warner.

2. We had cocktails and discussed exit strategies.

3. I was a math minor for a semester.

4. Yevgeny Yevtushenko is my favorite Russian poet. (Who is yours?)

5. I have a Superman complex.

6. I met Smallville's Lex Luthor at the Superman Celebration in Metropolis, Illinois.

7. I am a fan of Neil Diamond and I'm not afraid to say it.

8. If I could start over again (from college) I would want to become a dancer.

9. I have hiked the VA portion of the Appalachian Trail.

10. I never audition for anything that I thought I might not get.

11. I have driven on the Bristol Motor Speedway.

12. I have been ice skating on the Bristol Motor Speedway.

13. I am a closeted NASCAR fan.

14. I think I might be reading too much into Jack Kerouac's "On the Road."

15.I was very close to burning down a church while conducting a mid-night Bible study.

16. I always wanted to go to a private boarding school.

17.I ride a bicycle that cost more than my first car.

18. I enjoy gin.

19. The card game is also fun.

20. Is it just me, or does popcorn cause fantastically weird dreams?

21.If I could walk away tomorrow with no consequences of repercussions, I would move to Florence.

22. The North American River Otter is my favorite animal.

23. I have been to the place of Lincoln's conception. How many people can say that?

24. Hello, my name is Andrew and I compulsively buy socks.

25. I find eye liner to be incredibly attractive.