Bare...

One moment, one chance connection
One vision, one stolen stare
One cover, one dance, one lover
One vision, one answered prayer

A Cockeyed Optimist

There is something that I want more than anything. At least more than anything I have wanted in a very long time. I am ready to be on stage again. The last community theatre production I was on stage for was…um…a very long time ago. Even though it has been many moons since my last appearance on stage I have remained very close to my theatre family. In the last few years I have directed, choreographed, and assisted back stage.

Now, there is one show that I have wanted to be in every since I saw the movie as a child. It was a favorite of my grandfather, and thus and favorite of my whole family. I have given some not so subtle hints to the local director. Hints like, “…you know, I only have a few more years in me to play a sexy Lutellen.”

I don’t believe rumors in this town. People will tell you anything you want to hear. However, I have heard from more than one source that my dream may come true. Will I get the part I want? Doubtful. Let’s face it. I’m not nearly as young as I think I am. However, I plan to give it my best shot. Six months out. Preparation starts now.

So on this enchanted evening, while I’m still mending on the couch, I think I’ll have a Bloody Mary. ;) You like?

I knew it would...

Well. It finally happened. After thousands and thousands of miles on my bike I finally took a spill. Don’t worry…I’ll live.

I really need to come up with a better story. :/ But when I have told fellow riders what happened they all tell me that they have been there. So I don’t feel totally ashamed. Okay. Here is the break down. I was a little over two miles in to my ride. I was leaving town on my way to my south loop that takes me past the industrial park and eventually over to Claremont before coming back to Ste. Marie Road.

South Whittle Ave. has never been my favorite stretch of road. It is one of two options to get out of town to the south. As I was approaching the highway the road narrows and there is NO shoulder. Hearing traffic coming from behind I moved to the side of the road…like any good biker. The traffic passed but I could not move back to the left. I was dangerously close to the edge of the road. I was looking at it but could not move away. In an instant I was of the road (several inch drop off) and got flipped back onto the pavement. I stayed under the bike and slid for a good while. I also hit my head. Hard.

I’ll spare you too many details, but there was blood everywhere. First thought: get the bike. Second thought: Am I okay. Luckily there was someone working near where I went down who came to my aid and helped me get off the road. Yes, then I passed out. Thinking I needed stitches I called for someone to pick me up and take me to the hospital. Several hours later I’m all mended. I hurt. I am pretty buggered up on my left side.

I’ll get back on…just as soon as I can move my hip without crying.

And this isn't even the bad part.  :)

Sometimes I laugh so hard I fall off...

This summer break is off to a fantastic start! I am well underway to reach my summer fitness goal. I started running. I have always wanted to be a runner. I envied those who I would see running down the street. I would see them and go home to jump on the treadmill. This always ended in failure. Seldom would I reach a mile. One mile!! I knew what the problem was. Weight. So…it took a while but I am at an acceptable weight.

Last week a friend and I joined a local gym. My friend needs to gain weight and definition. I want to lose ten more pounds and look better naked. So…one week in and we’re both pleased. The first morning I went I decided to just hit the treadmill. I get a little overwhelmed and self -conscious so this was a safe start. I got on. I hit start. I plugged in my ear buds. And somehow I ended up running three miles! Three! Maybe it was because I was watching Will & Grace. Or maybe it was because there was a little picture of a track showing where I was. Either way I was thrilled. I could never do that in my basement.

I go twice a day. In the morning I run alone. In the evening I go with my friend and to strength stuff. Will I keep it up? I sure hope so. I enjoy the heck out of it.

In other news…I think my mother has started drinking. J

Tonight I received a txt from her mentioning how much she enjoyed looking at the newly mowed lawn from the “veranda.” Last time I checked it was just a breezeway. But apparently you give her one Mint Julep and it becomes a veranda.

Well…I suppose I should make my way out to the lanai. Cheers.

Slowly....

I am becoming the person that I have always wished I was. :)

I want to run.
I am not intimidated by the gym.
I am reading everyday.
I can see (almost) where I want to be.

And it is still May!

Lancelot, we are knights.

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”

 -- Ann Landers

:)

I’d like to leave this world with a little more love than I found it.

It seems like a lofty ambition, but I promise it’s not. Each day, we get so many opportunities to share our good vibes with the world around us. There are a thousand little moments that we can fill with love.

These moments are so common that they’re easy to overlook – and the loving gestures can be so small that they’re seemingly insignificant. It’s smiling at the elderly woman in the food market. Or reminding a friend that you care about them. It’s saying hi to the person you pass on the street. Or stopping to pet a dog. It’s recognizing your love for this planet by picking up a piece of litter. Or even silently acknowledging the light you see in the eyes of a stranger.

The thing that’s great about love is the more you give it away, the more you get in return. The world is like a big mirror and I guess it makes sense; the energy you put out into the universe tends to come back to you in like form.

As you go about your day, consider this a gentle reminder to fill your moments with love.

When I say...

"...I don't want to be wrong." It means I don't want to be right. So...sealed it stays.

From nine months ago...

Competition…it means different things to different people. But whether it’s a friendly rivalry...or a fight to the death...the end result is the same. There will be winners...and there will be losers. Of course, the trick is to know which battles to fight. You see, no victory comes without a price.

There are three people. Two will win. One saw it coming.

To those who say that "it is better to have loved and lost, than to never to have loved at all."

You were never in love.

Must read...

"...They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail."
— John Green (Looking for Alaska)

Really. Everything is okay. My moment(s) of angst are over. I have never been better than I am right now. :) Will you believe me?

Only Love

I see you try to turn away
I hear the words you want to say
I feel how much you need to hide
What's happening inside you tonight?

avalon

Ma vie ... à nouveau

Have you ever...

...started a message to someone then deleted it before you found the courage to send it? 


Welcome to my day.

...lust(?)

Should you reach for me, I should run my heart away.
But I won't; I'm not free.
I'm not a lot of things I used to be.

Tell me all your secrets....and I'll tell you most of mine. ;)

"T-T-Tiger Lily, Captain? "

There are moments in life that cause for pause and reflection.  This….is one of those moments.  Instead of lamenting to you, dear readers, of the less than positive moments in recent times, I shall instead tell that I have had the most wonderful year of teaching.  I applied to several schools, but I was accepted to the best possible location for me!  I am pleased to be returning next year.  Maybe next year I will know what I’m doing.  ;)

In other news…change sucks. So does growing up.  :p

:)

25	days
602	hours
36172	minutes
2170370	seconds

...

39 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes, 27 seconds

There will come a time...

...when I'm going to stop helping you.

Never drink and bake.

I have a funny family. Whenever we’re together…like all of us…it is always a good time. Sadly we are starting to spread across the country and around the world. This last weekend I was invited to go out with my parents to a bar. I know! You are no more shocked than I was. Well, this wasn’t just any bar. It was located in a school where my mom taught music for several years before she retired. That is the only reason she wanted to go. We didn’t stay too long. The parking lot was packed and the small space was just too loud. The novelty of the evening wouldn’t have been enjoyable…even though the fries smelled delicious.

We then traveled back to the nearest town (which I dislike enough to not even type) and had dinner at a local pizza place owned by some long time family friends. It is decorated in a very classic Italian style that inspired me enough to order a glass of Chianti. It is my favorite. Apparently it was my grandmother’s favorite too. My mom recounted a story that had me in tears before our pizza arrived…

It is no secret that my grandparents were good drinkers. It is also no secret that my grandmother was NOT a good baker. But somehow the combination of the two yielded something….interesting. The story goes that Granny opened a bottle of Chianti while baking a carrot cake for a small Christmas gathering. By the time the cake was ready to be frosted the bottle was empty. So far so good. Dinner was delicious. The company was wonderful. The cards were shuffled and the cake was being served. Now, I’m not really sure how this came to happen, but when the first bit of cake was taken it didn’t take long for the reviews of the cake to come in. It seems that somehow, in my grandmothers wine inspired cake finishing, that she frosted her famous carrot cake with French onion dip.

Cheers.

Loud and Clear.

-------------

Awaken to you...

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

– Buddha

you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die.

Just a few moments ago I was sitting on my living room floor folding laundry. Dinner was delicious and the dish washer was running. My evening was starting to slow down and I was getting ready to relax. But then I was taken by a sudden flood of emotion. While I had been mindlessly watching TV the programming turned to Betty White’s 90^th Birthday Celebration.

No lies. I’m a huge Betty fan. I always have been. I got excited when I started to see all the stars that were going to be on the show. With a few more shirts left to fold I started watching….and then I started crying…soon I was sobbing. Betty White has always reminded me of my grandmother. My grandmother introduced me to two television genres that I still hold dear. The first is the quickly dying art of the day-time Soap Opera. The second was sketch comedy in the style of The Carol Burnett Show. Of course, it was the many seasons of The Golden Girls that I cherish the most. I can remember Granny letting me stay up late just to watch…often times curled up in her lap. There was no harm, right? After all I couldn’t possibly understand the humor.

This post is not able to sum up this wild mix of emotions I’ve had in the last hour. My grandmother passed away in March of 2011. Her last few years were pretty special. Her life without Granddad was tough, but you never would have known that by watching her. Even when she was living in long-term care at the hospital she was the life of the party. More than once I would get a phone call that started like this, “Did you see that? Its my favorite episode! You know, honey, the one where Rose poses for a sculpture….” We would talk and laugh, but only until the commercial break was over.

Two weeks before she passed away the whole family came to see her. With all of us gathered in her room she looked at us and said, “Oh God…am I about to die?” After that weekend…after seeing all of us and talking to each of us…she relaxed.

Thank you, Granny. Thank you for being my friend.

Cheers.