Self Love

The student said to the master, “How do you love yourself? Today I feel so horrible, alone and afraid.”

“It will pass,” the teacher replied.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “I feel so good! I feel good about myself and life. It’s wonderful!”

“It will pass,” the teacher replied.

The road to loving yourself is full of twists and turns, ups and downs. But where do you start? And what is my advice for jump-starting the journey of self love?

Here’s what I’d recommend:

1. Forgive yourself. Carrying around the weight of your missteps is stunting your growth. Remind yourself that it is through your mistakes that you learn and grow.
2. Know that your self worth is intrinsic. Avoid evaluating yourself based on how many other people love, desire or want you. Avoid evaluating your self worth based on anything outside of yourself, such as your body, your status, your car or your bank account. Avoid evaluating yourself based on anything that is transient and changing, including situations and circumstances.
3. Know that you are worthy. You are exactly what you are intended to be. The sum of the whole is in each of the parts. You are one such part, and no one is any more deserving (or any less deserving) of its abundance than you.
4. Cultivate unconditional love. Don’t restrict your love - and don’t select pieces of yourself to love. You are not a cafeteria. You don’t get to pick and choose what you want. You are the complete deal and the whole package. You may wish to change parts of yourself, but you have to love it all now - as every aspect of you is here to serve your purpose.
5. Create sacred alone time. Set aside an amount of time that seems appropriate and cultivate your relationship with yourself. Do something that you want to do, and do not invite a friend. Do it alone, and love it. Cherish the experience. Go to a restaurant that you love. Walk in the park. Go see a movie. Study. Meditate.

As you learn to love yourself more and more - and we all have room to grow - a funny thing starts to happen. You’ll have more love in your heart, and thus, more love to share with the people around you. Your relationships will reflect that love and your entire community will take notice. Including you.