Its true....what they say...

Have you ever been told, “something better will come along,” or “it just wasn’t mean to be”? Over the last four months I have heard that more than I care to recall. While always said with the best intentions by friends and family alike…I just got tired of it.

In April I completed my student teaching and applied for a job in my home town. Things were looking good. I felt very confident. The teachers in the department were very supportive and even went as far as to say “you’re the one we want,” and “you’re the perfect fit.” These teachers were ever a part of the interview team. But in the back of my mine I just didn’t feel like I would end up with the job. Since it was April, there were not many jobs postings on the state job bank. I walked into the interview nervous as hell. The secretary who took my back to the principal’s office squeezed my hand and said, “…this job is your honey, we’re all rootin’ for you.”

It was my first interview…ever. (Not counting my interview with The President’s Own USMC the day after I graduated from college.) I’ve never had to interview for a job before. They’ve always been offered. Anywho…it was a great interview, at least until the end when the principal said, “nobody starts off with their dream job.” That comment replayed in my mind for the two long weeks I had to wait. When I got the phone call I was on a walk. I was cutting through the middle school parking lot when my phone rang. I didn’t get the job. They gave it to someone with “more classroom experience.” I put my phone back in my pocket and I heard an 8^th band student say to his mom, “that’s going to my new band director next year,” as he waved while getting into his mom’s car. I smiled and waved back.

That was the longest walk back to my house ever. I had no direction. No job leads. No career to fall back on. (I refused to return to the previous one.) But what bothered me the most was that I had no confidence as an educator or a musician. One phone call ripped that confidence from me.

Long story short: After 28 applications and only 5 interviews I am finally hired. And you know what; something better did indeed come along. I am very pleased and excited to be the new middle school and high school choir director in Robinson, Illinois. This job opened on a Friday. I had an interview the following Tuesday and was offered the job on Wednesday. It happened so fast that it just does not feel real yet. Today, while in the unit office getting all official and whatnot, I met several colleagues who welcomed me to the team. Of all the jobs I applied for this is the best fit for me as an educator and a musician. Confidence restored. However, I’m an all sort of new terrified.

And Here's to You...

Margy

My years at Emory & Henry College were the most amazing years of my life. People will tell you that you make your lifelong friends in college. While I have some amazing friends from high school, I will certainly agree that my closest friends matriculated with me in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains.

One of my closest friends was actually a faculty member. Trevor was a recent graduate of the music department and was returning to Emory after his graduate work at Eastman. Trevor was intimidating to me long before I met him. I heard stories. People loved him. I didn’t know how to take this. It was my second year at Emory and I was really starting to feel like I had found a place to call home. The last thing I needed to deal with was the favored son returning home.

I couldn’t have been more wrong about Trevor. He became an amazing influence and someone who I knew I could always talk to, vent to, and have fun with. It wasn’t long before I learned something tragic about him. Trevor’s mom, Margy, was killed in a car accident on her way home from a football game on campus. This happened while he was a student, five or so years before I ever knew him.

Today marked ten years since her death. And while I never met Margy, I was undeniably impacted by her life. Our chapel piano and choir robes were in her honor. Every note from that piano was sacred. Every time we put on or robes was a reminder of a life lost. But the biggest influence that Margy had on my life was her legacy that lived on through Trevor. Just this week I thought of Margy while I was rehearsing a song at church. It is a song that the Concert Choir performed in Bluefield, West Virginia…her home church. Trevor was at the piano and his father and brother were in the congregation. Tears blurred the vision of most people in the church when the words of the spiritual hit all to close to home. “Sometimes I feel like a motherless child…” I have no idea how Trevor made it through the song…

Through a sermon by of one of Trevor’s classmates I have been revived in a forgotten lesson. “Don’t live for yourselves. It will disappoint you and you won’t be ready to go when the time comes. Die to yourselves. Live for something much greater than yourself. Live for love and for the God who showed us true love on the cross.”

The Soul's Own Speech

From the Vault. Originally posted in May of 2008. The following is a reflection on the 50th Anniversary of the Emory & Henry College Concert Choir.

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A mountain top experience, in both the literal and figurative senses, is perhaps the best way to describe last weekend. I had the opportunity to return to the campus of Emory & Henry College to participate in the 50^th Anniversary Reunion of the college’s Concert Choir. As many small college musicians would likely express, our choir was different, exclusive, and uncommon. Since the Concert Choir’s founding 50 years ago there have been only three conductors. Yes, I said three. While only under one did I serve I can honestly say that my life, or at least my musical outlook therein, has been transformed by all three outstanding leaders. I have developed an understanding of how I believe a group of diverse voices can and should transcend the ordinary.

In my short three years I had the pleasure of working with our founder during a handful of special occasions. His principles of the choral sound are idealistic, and often not achievable. I respect his convictions and his faith in the system, but I am not naïve enough to consider what has been titled the Westminster Sound to be the only acceptable sound. When it all does come together, believe me friend, it is truly a sacred experience. His successor, my mentor and conductor, had a less idealistic design of choral sound but all the more romantic! We achieved moments of supreme musicality that would bring to tears even the toughest of accounting and public policy majors. Some of these moments were in rehearsals, while others were on the road during our countless concert tours here and abroad. We were not perfect…there were other moments of a lesser amount of musicality. Perhaps this is best termed as the ‘scuro’ to our ‘chiaro.’ I learned a great deal from our conductor…most significantly being how to not conduct a group of musicians. Saying that, I respected him and I will forever remember what he taught me in what I consider my vocal coming of age lessons!

Change was in the air, and change did transpire in the spring of my final year. Our conductor was released of his teaching responsibilities for a myriad of reasons – all well founded by the acting administration. I was pleased to have a hand in the selection of the current Concert Choir leadership. We saw numerous applicants for the position. Some were too short, too tall, too traditional, not traditional enough, wore too much black, lacked piano skills, but finally a fit was found. The Concert Choir received its third conductor, and might I add – a Yankee! As was expected, change was not well accepted by a few Concert Choir members both past and present. It was viewed as a fallen Dynasty, an empire destroyed, and a then 47-year tradition lost forever. I am and always have been a supporter of the current Concert Choir leadership. I even had the opportunity to host the choir at my church during their Mid-West tour; something that our alumni look forward to doing.

I attest that the Concert Choir sound is alive and well! The change has been for the better. At the reunion the current Concert Choir performed their Germany/Austria spring tour program. I was moved. However, during a reception afterward, the rift between the old and the new grew to an uncomfortable width. Nothing disparaging was said about the current choir, but all the while nothing altogether too positive was said either. “Good intonation, clear sound,” was all that was said to me. Is that all you heard? Are you so blinded by the ‘glorious’ days that you are not able to embrace something so Rich and Vibrant as what was before you? Sure, the process is different. I say the process is better. You call it ‘academic,’ and I call it progressive and more importantly successful – more successful than not. I beg you to open your heart of fire! The 2008 concert choir is our Emory & Henry Concert Choir. The tradition, my friends, lives on!