You're never Fully Dressed without....

As I have mentioned before…fashion does indeed make the man. Living in a small town is no excuse for poor fashion. But in my first Small Town Style Guide I left out perhaps the single most important aspect of men’s dress. Shoes. Gentlemen, your footwear says more about you than your tie, suit, or cufflinks.

Men of all types walk into my office. For the most part, due to the nature of my business, these men come dressed in their nicer apparel. The definition of nice seems to fluctuate from man to man. No matter the economic background or breeding every man should wear appropriate shoes for their dress.

Black Nike’s should never be worn with a suit. Nor should Army boots. “But, Andrew,” you say, “I don’t own any dress shoes!” Well…GET SOME!!! I’m not telling you to go out any buy shoes that cost more than your monthly lottery budget. I am, however, telling you that shoes make the man. The quality of your shoes reveals how much you respect yourself. Of all the items in a man’s wardrobe, shoes are the single most important element of style.

With shoes, you get what you pay for. Even when times are tough, you can still spend a little more on well-made shoes because you can make them last much longer than a suit or a cashmere sweater. In fact, if you choose a pair of shoes made with real leather, sturdy stitching and solid soles, they will outlast almost all other items in your closet. You’ll be able to have them repaired over time at a fraction of the original purchase price, so spend as much as you reasonably can for a pair of shoes.

Plain dress oxfords might seem boring or too conservative amid a rack of pick-stitched ankle boots and fleur-de-lis perforated wingtips, (please tell me you know what those are) but consider for a moment that you’re buying a pair of shoes that you will wear to work (and interviews), weddings, funerals, first dates, and everything else in between. A classic dress oxford -- plain toe or cap toe -- will get you through more moments in your life than any other men’s shoe to date possibly could.

I told you all of that to tell you this: I was recently called out on my shoes. I confess. I have been wearing an inferior black dress shoe. They were cheap and didn’t last a year. So I forked out a little cash for a pair of quality shoes. Man up and Dress up. You’ll like the way you look.

Really?

While I may not be the most fashion forward person, I do pride myself on my sense of style. (Even though some accuse me of dressing a bit older than I need) Recently I have come across a clothing ad that depicts something, well, odd. I have seen it in several magazine ads, on the internet, and even in large store displays. I just don't get it. It is always the same guy too! So, below is the picture. Have you ever noticed that he always has his tie tucked into his pants? Is this some fashion statement that people actually do?

Letter of Reclamation

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Dear [father],

I don’t even know where to begin. How the hell do I even refer to you? I don’t know who you are. I have spent a grand total of 15-minutes in your company since the age of 5. Most of that was in awkward silence. My entire life I had to grow-up without a father. For years I told myself and anyone who would ask that the divorce wasn’t a problem. I told them everything was fine. It wasn’t an issue. I believed that! And maybe I was right. Perhaps it wasn’t the divorce as much as the issues surrounding it. But there is a problem. A big one.

Not knowing how to acknowledge the problem was the problem. I am 26 years old and I am just now coming to the realization that I BLAME YOU FOR EVERY PROBLEM IN MY LIFE! The main problems: a void in my life and the inability to identify myself within a characterization of masculinity. The void you left was a void that I didn’t know how to fill. I tried. My entire life I have been longing for a bond that can only be found through the love of a father. You didn’t walk out of my life only to have me magically forget about you. I have been constantly reminded that you left. Why would you turn your back on me?

You would think that this sudden understanding would lift a weight from my shoulders. No. I have never felt more pain. Just yesterday I was walking through a store. I saw a dad holding the hand of his young son as they traversed the crowded store. The pain in my chest brought me to a complete stop. That is what I have needed in my life. The love of a father.

The truths about you were reveled to me eventually. Again, I never considered them an issue. But they are. Passively I sought love in all the wrong places. I turned to lust and instant gratification only to walk away with a deeper heartache. I neglected relationships or avoided them altogether. I turned my back on morality and ran to what I thought I needed. You distorted my understanding of attraction. This, of course, did nothing but cause more pain. I am now taking a look back at my life, and relationships within my life, only to find that you have been the central problem the whole time. I don’t know who I am because of you.

I need to forgive you. I can’t move forward in the quest of reclaiming my heart until I forgive you. The pain is new...and very real. You will never know. I can do this without you. I have found strength despite you! I am becoming a warrior. I am fighting the fears that you gave me. I must win.

This is just the beginning,

Your [son]